Andy’s Lard Quest

Andy's Lard Quest

Andy's Lard Quest for Android

Andy’s Lard Quest Rules

The game opens to a menu of heads you can unlock by collecting chickens. The price of each head is under the head. You must play the Egg Man until you collect enough chickens to unlock the other heads. The other heads have different super powers that add to game play.

To play, click play. The interface is simple. Tap to make the character drop. You bounce your head through the platform levels avoiding enemies.

Collect chicken and cans of lard. If you collect 9 cans of lard in one session without dying, you will enter the most awesome Lard Wars level and battle giant kaiju cats for a whole lotta chicken. Once you crash and die, your lard count returns to zero and you return to the head menu with all the chickens you gathered.

Hot dogs make you invincible. When you eat a hot dog, you turn into an indestructible hamburger. You can smash anything. It feels really good too.

Society the cat tosses some very useful cat balls. When hit, cat balls kill all enemies in sight, but each cat ball you use cost 25 chickens. That’s a lot of chickens! Use cat balls sparingly or you could lose all your chickens.

Avoid everything else because it’s EVIL! If you touch it, it will kill you. Here’s a tip, if it shoots a pink laser beam at you, you must try to let the laser beam touch you. The laser beam powers you up and turns you into an indestructible fish bowl for 3 seconds, and you can beat the beast by smashing it to smithereens.

While you are playing, notice the can of lard in the top right corner. To its right you see a count of how many lard you have collected during your session. If you click the lard can it will bring you to the head menu if you want to unlock or switch to a different head to play.

At the bottom of the heads menu you will see Little Andy flipping out. Once you have enough chickens you can unlock the Bonus Level. Just click Little Andy to get there.

The goal is to unlock all 20+ heads and Little Andy’s bonus level.

About Andy’s Lard Quest

So I wanted to make a weird indie game from the strange stuff here at my house. First up is Andy, a duct tape voodoo doll my daughter made when she was just a wee one. Now a teen, I told her I was using Andy in my game, and she cringed. So far, so good.

There is Cosmo my dog, and Society my cat. There is a scary stick I found on the ground last summer. I thought it looked like a kaiju monster, so I glued googly eyes on his face and named him Xerxes. Now he’s flying around causing all kinds of mayhem in this game! There’s a floating rubber glove guy, a tons of ants, and rubber chickens are the currency you collect to unlock everything.

You start out as a fragile egg, and as you collect rubber chickens, you can trade them in for other fancy new heads that have all new super powers and moves.

Once you collect enough rubber chickens you can unlock the Bonus Level where the shrimp are running like mad! With 20+ different heads to unlock and play, and a bonus level to unlock, this insane game will have your friends wondering what the hell you’re doing. If they ask, just tell ’em you’re on a LARD QUEST!

Game music, To Town I Go by mopehead & Tony Iuppa from: Hauntscapes.com
Andy and other duct tape art by Malaya from: DesignCutie.com
Nature sounds from: Yellowstone National Park Sound Library
Cosmo the wonder dog courtesy of: TimeBrats.com

Andy's Lard Quest for Android

Meet The Flanders

A reading from my book, Snotgrass.
Maine Humor by J.E.Moores.

I always wanted to write a humorous memoir about growing up in Maine during the late 60’s and early 70’s, and so I did with my first book, Snotgrass. This is a reading from the first chapter in that book called, Meet The Flanders.

I was born in 1964. It was a really crazy time in history. Maine seemed isolated from the violence of the civil rights movement, the assassination of JFK, and the sexual revolution. Maine seemed more like Norman Rockwell’s 1950’s. An idealized world where kids still walked to school all by themselves, and played outside with other kids unsupervised until dark. We didn’t have seat belts, the internet, iPhones, or YouTube, and we were just fine.

I was in love with comic books, MAD magazine, Sid and Marty Krofft’s Land of the Lost, Godzilla, Planet of the Apes, building tree forts, and writing and drawing our own comic strips during study hall ~ or we’d skip recess like total geeks and draw in the school’s library! I still love to draw comics.

My grandmother supported anything to do with reading and writing, so she often took me to the Rockland, Maine Greyhound Bus Station to browse comic books and the sci-fi fantasy horror magazines. I have put together a ton of family photos from that time, and have mashed it all together in the video above for your viewing entertainment. Thanks again, Jay ~

Rattler #1

Rattler 01

 

Rattler #1 for you all to enjoy.

I have been an Arts and Crafts camp counselor since 1984. This past summer I thought it would be fun to make an underground newspaper with our campers age 8-15. I wanted to give our photo department a boost with a ‘zine project mixed with a class in making comics. This way campers could draw, photograph, write, and create games, and have it all bound together into our own magazine.

Our camp already has an official yearbook called The Tattler, so we called our project, The Rattler. Those that contributed became Vipers interviewing counselors at picnic lunch, drawing snarky cartoons during rest hour, and Photoshopping things that never happened. Here is our first fun filled issue from summer 2017.

About Wiggly Loaf

I have been an arts and crafts camp counselor for most of my summers since 1984. Working at summer camps along the lakes of Maine have been the best days of my life. First, I like working in the art room with kids so I can steal all their great ideas. Second, I now have friends from all over the world, and camp friends are the best friends ever! Over time my own daughter became one of the campers, so here we are getting into two generations at camp!

I am such an old timer there. Part of my job is to set up camp early in the season. I go ten whole days before my family joins me. I get camp and the art room ready while my daughter and wife stay home until it’s time for everyone else to arrive a week or so after me. Our time apart happens to fall on Fathers Day, so each spring as I pack up to leave for eight weeks of camp, we have an early Fathers Day celebration before I go.

In our kitchen there is a chalkboard. I’m a great cook, but I’m a horrible namer. Even worse, I like to write the horrible titles of my entrees on this chalkboard. My version of Emphysema Lambada is delicious; it just has a horrible name. I don’t go a week without making a big batch of Bodarg-a-larg. The kids love it. I think you would, too.

Often, after a meal, I like to doodle on the chalkboard. One night before I went off to camp, I wanted something fun to leave behind. I wanted to draw a new character. I remember it well. I wanted to make the simplest creature I could. Sort of a Yupapotamus body mixed with a Swamp Bogger face… but simplified until it was only what it needed to be. I started to draw a rectangle with a face, but I gave it four little stumpy legs. I wrote “Don’t Get Weird” under it.

Wiggly Loaf 2016

Wiggly Loaf was born on our chalkboard. We had our Fathers Day party and all went off to sleep so I could get up early for that long drive to camp. But you know what? By morning that crazy daughter of mine had stayed up late and felted a nifty plush version of Wiggly Loaf for me to take to camp. It was my Fathers Day gift so I wouldn’t be all alone my first week of camp. I had Wiggly Loaf to keep me company.

Felted Wiggly Loaf

When I got to camp I was so taken with the Loaf my daughter made, I decided to make “Don’t Get Weird” posters and put them up all over camp. That way when she got there, she would see Wiggly Loaf everywhere, kinda in response to the life she gave the character by taking the time to make me one. If I needed to make a sign that said, “Please wash your paint brushes,” I drew Wiggly Loaf saying it.

In no time Wiggly Loaf was friends with everyone and became mascot of the Arts and Crafts room. Soon campers were making Wiggly Loaf comics, plush toys, necklaces, hand carved stamps, and screening T shirts. When other people wrote notes or made signs, they included their version of Wiggly Loaf. The character is simple enough for anyone to draw that it took on a life of its own.

thanks for being my friend

I made hundreds of #wigglyloaf memes during the winters to stay in touch with my summer friends. Several years later, the Loaf is going strong. I thought it would be fun to make a video game, so my camp friends could get in some quality Loaf time this winter.

Because Wiggly Loaf was born from love I wanted to be sure the game contained all of the essential elements to capture the pure Wiggly Loaf vibe. The game has to be non stressful and pleasantly challenging. Appropriate for all ages and skill levels. Funny, cute, or even better, kawaii. I didn’t want there to be any hurry. No timer, no rush, just zen comic mayhem. The background does not automatically scroll by, so you can go at your own pace.

After making Wiggly Loaf memes for years, I wanted the game to also contain positive affirmations so the player is congratulated for clearing levels and being so skilled. There are even friendly reminders to do your homework, which amuses me to no end. I wanted the game to be uplifting and fun for both parents and kids, so the homework reminders are a big hit. Oh yeah, I decided the game must be set in a chalkboard world, where it all began!

Wiggly Loaf game

Nothing in the game harms you. Instead, you’re the problem! You only get in trouble when you step on the flowers or fall off the platform into the pit of doom. You must figure out the challenging puzzle of each level, dig tunnels, build stairs, and collect hearts along the way to open up new levels of the game. When you get far enough, there are new characters to unlock, so you can go back and play the different Wiggly Loaf variations.

Because it’s an indie game that I personally grind out myself from a dirty little machine in my basement, I can do things like publish shout outs during each upload for all you Loafers. People love seeing their secret messages and personal jokes in a game! It’s really cool. Want a shout out added to the game? Contact us through the WigglyLoaf.com web site, and we’ll see what we can do.

The game keeps growing. I love to sit down and design new levels for the game to keep it fresh. Do a search for Wiggly Loaf on the iOS app store, and keep the app updated to get new content as the game grows.

Want to help me spread a little campy joy and kindness? Tell your friends about our silly homemade game – but please remember:

Don’t Get Weird ~ Get Wiggly!
J.E.Moores