NEOBLAST – Shoot the Discs! – Are you the next Master Neoblaster?
You are controlling a Neoblast Drone and it’s your job to blast all the incoming invaders. Be sure to catch a burst of Indestructible Super Power when ever you can reach a pink fuse. Avoid the pink pointy bits on the end, they hurt.
Bright and colorful game play. Imagine sparking neon lights and fireworks exploding in outer space. Easy one thumb control. Drag to move left or right. Tap to shoot. Fast, frustrating and addicting!
Easy rules: Shoot the discs!
Goal: Get a score over 200 to become a Master Neoblaster and post your high score on the leader board for the entire universe to see!
Challenge your friends to see who can push the other off the board, and learn once and for all which one of you is the true Master Neoblaster!!! All must bow to the Master!
NEOBLAST ~ A Game by J.E.Moores
RULES:
Drag to move left or right
Tap to shoot
You must shoot discs 2 times
Get a Super Power when you touch a fuse
Avoid the pink pointy bits
Scores above 200 open up leader boards
ABOUT THOSE SUPER POWERS: The fuse gets its power from the pointy bits on each end, so if you shoot the pointy bits away, the fuse fades away with it. It is best to avoid the pointy bits for the benefit of reaching the fuse and getting the Super Power. The Super Power will make the Neoblast Drone temporarily glow and become indestructible for 1 – 3 seconds, which is a better way to get rid of those pointy bits.
I’d like to thank Buildbox for including me (and Wiggly Loaf’s butt) in your latest video intro. I’m the Brady kid, top middle of the grid at 00:23. That’s me! I’m at my computer updating the Wiggly Loaf video game using the game engine I adore, Buildbox.
Being a subscriber to Buildbox has allowed me to make so many fun games. I have self published 10+ games for iOS and Google Play my very first year. Each time I complete a game I have learned so much I get excited to apply it to the next project. I am loving the process, but I also need to focus more on the business side of things to gain ROI, because all the developer fees, yearly software fees, and web hosting fees, are getting more expensive than I ever thought.
Glad to hear Buildbox Free is coming out soon. It’s smart to let folk try before they buy. That way they can feel confident the software design is easy for them to use. Making games isn’t for everyone. So a free version of Buildbox allows anyone curious about game design to find out how involved it all really gets. All I know from just starting out is that making games eats up more time and money than you’d think.
Wiggly Loaf and a Snowman have a wild and crazy snowball battle. Mobile game for 1 or 2 players ~ 2 can play on one phone! Download the Wiggly Loaf Snowball Battle free at Apple App Store or for Android at Google Play. There’s also a mini game where you must feed The Beast or winter will never end.
The game opens to a menu of heads you can unlock by collecting chickens. The price of each head is under the head. You must play the Egg Man until you collect enough chickens to unlock the other heads. The other heads have different super powers that add to game play.
To play, click play. The interface is simple. Tap to make the character drop. You bounce your head through the platform levels avoiding enemies.
Collect chicken and cans of lard. If you collect 9 cans of lard in one session without dying, you will enter the most awesome Lard Wars level and battle giant kaiju cats for a whole lotta chicken. Once you crash and die, your lard count returns to zero and you return to the head menu with all the chickens you gathered.
Hot dogs make you invincible. When you eat a hot dog, you turn into an indestructible hamburger. You can smash anything. It feels really good too.
Society the cat tosses some very useful cat balls. When hit, cat balls kill all enemies in sight, but each cat ball you use cost 25 chickens. That’s a lot of chickens! Use cat balls sparingly or you could lose all your chickens.
Avoid everything else because it’s EVIL! If you touch it, it will kill you. Here’s a tip, if it shoots a pink laser beam at you, you must try to let the laser beam touch you. The laser beam powers you up and turns you into an indestructible fish bowl for 3 seconds, and you can beat the beast by smashing it to smithereens.
While you are playing, notice the can of lard in the top right corner. To its right you see a count of how many lard you have collected during your session. If you click the lard can it will bring you to the head menu if you want to unlock or switch to a different head to play.
At the bottom of the heads menu you will see Little Andy flipping out. Once you have enough chickens you can unlock the Bonus Level. Just click Little Andy to get there.
The goal is to unlock all 20+ heads and Little Andy’s bonus level.
About Andy’s Lard Quest
So I wanted to make a weird indie game from the strange stuff here at my house. First up is Andy, a duct tape voodoo doll my daughter made when she was just a wee one. Now a teen, I told her I was using Andy in my game, and she cringed. So far, so good.
There is Cosmo my dog, and Society my cat. There is a scary stick I found on the ground last summer. I thought it looked like a kaiju monster, so I glued googly eyes on his face and named him Xerxes. Now he’s flying around causing all kinds of mayhem in this game! There’s a floating rubber glove guy, a tons of ants, and rubber chickens are the currency you collect to unlock everything.
You start out as a fragile egg, and as you collect rubber chickens, you can trade them in for other fancy new heads that have all new super powers and moves.
Once you collect enough rubber chickens you can unlock the Bonus Level where the shrimp are running like mad! With 20+ different heads to unlock and play, and a bonus level to unlock, this insane game will have your friends wondering what the hell you’re doing. If they ask, just tell ’em you’re on a LARD QUEST!
Many of our fears of witchcraft come from the series of 1677-1682 investigations known as the Affair Des Poisons which focused on two notorious French Fortune Tellers, Catherine Monvoisin (La Voisin) and Marie Bosse (La Bosse). They sold love potions, good luck potions, and a hot little item referred to as inheritance potions, which was a very fancy name for poison. For a nominal fee La Bosse would sell these potions and powders, and instruct you how to use them. Wives could escape marriages, family members could inherit wealth, and lovers could remove rivals.
Woodcuts illustrating witches mixing potions, sacrificing babies, and consorting with devils were partly inspired by La Voisin and La Bosse’s 17th century crimes. La Voisin conducted Satanic black masses with the French aristocracy at her side including King Louis XIV’s favorite mistress, Madame de Montespan. Mme Montespan fearing that the king may soon tire of her, was willing to sell her soul to the devil, and poison her rivals, to keep her position.
After several poisonings and murders, the scandal made it to the court’s inner circle where the king feared for his life. Many deaths among the aristocracy were attributed to the secret sale of poisons. It led to a 5 year investigation and the systematic torture and execution of 36 people by burning at the stake.
La Voisin had been a midwife by trade. She secretly performed illegal abortions, and used the fetuses to conduct Satanic black masses for her wealthy clients. It was confessed by Madame Montespan that she paid La Voisin a great fee to conduct a black mass that involved a child sacrifice. During the investigation the remains of 2,500 infants were dug up in La Voisin’s garden. The horrific news spread across Europe.
The woodcuts that illustrated the news stories of the time created mass hysteria and fear of witches worldwide. I have always had a fascination with these old world depictions of witches. Because monsters and creatures are a feast for the imagination, I have made a video game based on 17th century woodcuts of witches, demons, devils, and imps. The game is oddly cute, while maintaining all the underlying horror of it all. It’s a strange trip, because you’re playing as the evil La Voisin herself, out on one of her terrible crime sprees!
The game starts out with La Voisin running around the countryside with Madame de Montespan. The two of you are collecting all the babies you can find, you know, for Satan. Babies make you feel indestructible, but only for a little while, so you need more, MORE Babies! You must avoid the angry mob of Bible thumpin’ church goers, and find your way to Marie Bosse’s Potion Shop. There you can trade your babies for different imps and familiars to do your evil bidding. Once you’ve paid Marie Bosse’s fee and unlocked the creature of your choice, you can play the game again with all new powers in the form of a flying demon, witch on a broomstick, sweet little pig, or a very handsome goat. It’s wicked good fun, and you’ll only go to hell a little bit for playing this game! Just a little. Like the thumb you tap with. It could be possible that your thumb might go to hell for playing this game.
Enjoy your evil rampage. You know you’ve earned it. The Affaire Des Poisons video game is available for free for Android on Google Play and in the iOS app store.
Make America Great Again! Help Trumpty Dumpty build a wall. New video game by J.E.Moores. It doesn’t matter if you are for or against this crazy wall that has shut our government down. Let this silly game relieve you of a little stress. Tap the screen and stack the bricks up high. If they topple off the base, you have to start over. I even bet you know the perfect person to share this with for a laugh.
A reading from my book, Snotgrass.
Maine Humor by J.E.Moores.
I always wanted to write a humorous memoir about growing up in Maine during the late 60’s and early 70’s, and so I did with my first book, Snotgrass. This is a reading from the first chapter in that book called, Meet The Flanders.
I was born in 1964. It was a really crazy time in history. Maine seemed isolated from the violence of the civil rights movement, the assassination of JFK, and the sexual revolution. Maine seemed more like Norman Rockwell’s 1950’s. An idealized world where kids still walked to school all by themselves, and played outside with other kids unsupervised until dark. We didn’t have seat belts, the internet, iPhones, or YouTube, and we were just fine.
I was in love with comic books, MAD magazine, Sid and Marty Krofft’s Land of the Lost, Godzilla, Planet of the Apes, building tree forts, and writing and drawing our own comic strips during study hall ~ or we’d skip recess like total geeks and draw in the school’s library! I still love to draw comics.
My grandmother supported anything to do with reading and writing, so she often took me to the Rockland, Maine Greyhound Bus Station to browse comic books and the sci-fi fantasy horror magazines. I have put together a ton of family photos from that time, and have mashed it all together in the video above for your viewing entertainment. Thanks again, Jay ~
My reading of Snotgrass at the Camden Library was completely taken over by the Time Brats! What a hoot it was to make so much noise inside a library. We all took turns telling strange tales of mythical Maine beasts. The night turned into all of us sharing stories told to us by our grandparents and elders. I heard about several old Maine story tellers: Buckwheat Shed and Frisco Ireland, strange tall tales of bear hunting at the Houlton dump, and how to catch Bigfoot using peanut butter. We made up a new local monster and called it the Camden Crawler. Here the kids display the handmade Swamp Boggers I brought along. Thanks one and all for coming out on a rainy Maine evening!
I had one of those once in a lifetime experiences today. I got to read a couple chapters from my book Snotgrass at the Gibbs Library in Washington, Maine where the book is set. In the audience were several folk who knew me when I was just a wee one. It was amazing sharing these stories with the people who knew my elders, know the setting, and were there to celebrate their small town along with me. They asked if I was going to show the Flanders Lane video, and I laughed because I hadn’t realized how many of them had seen that little short movie. Here’s the cast from Snotgrass in a Halloween short haunted house video we all made years ago.
